In the internet mob justice system, thought crimes are considered especially heinous. On the internet, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Thought Cops. These are their stories.
The train keeps on rollin’ this week. We discuss Facebook’s take on the declaration of independence, Ron Paul’s take on cartoons, and a take so hot, you might not handle it: Nanette could be good?? Even though as John Mulaney might say that Mick Jagger might say, it’s: “NOT FUNNAY!”
As always, thanks to all the Thought Cops stans out there who have been patient with us this week as we had a gap week. Please continue to leave us constructive voicemails at 312-788-7361. And for additional content, please support us on Patreon.
Hope you brought your appetite, because it’s an all-you-care-to-eat buffet here on Thought Cops, “Episode 73”! The Shrimp Boys (Luke, David, and Wyatt) join us in-studio for an episode so tasty, you’ll be coming back for seconds. And maybe thirds, but keep in mind it’s an all-you-care-to-eat buffet, and not an all-you-CAN-eat buffet.
First of all, major shout-out to the artist who designed our new album art: Inkuusan. You can check out his upcoming game on Kickstarter: Blue Omen Operation.
We are also now available on Spotify! That’s right, all these options to listen and you wanna play ME? Nah, that ain’t happening. You better go right head and follow us on Instagram while you’re at it, too.
This week, we really get into the thicc of it. David Lynch can’t remember who he voted for, cryptic vagueposting, grammar correcting, and of course, the rise and fall of a dog-rating twitter account. 2018 is only halfway over, folks. But our big dick energy isn’t going anywhere.
Thanks to everyone who left us voicemails for our birthdays. You can be a part of the show, too, if you leave us a voicemail at 312-788-7361. You can find the Shrimp Boys every month at Helltrap Nightmare right here in Neo-Chicago, and you can support us on Patreon for additional content.
Welcome to Episode 2 of Fire Bros! For those of you not in the know, each month we’re doing a bonus episode that you can find for $2 a month or higher on our Patreon.
While on the main show Thought Cops we talk about internet outrage from week to week, Fire Bros is a monthly show where we review and talk about different content we like, whether that be movies, television shows, video games, books, or whatever else. If the content isn’t deemed acceptable by us, we burn it.
This episode we’re joined by Ben Carson to talking about A Quiet Place, Ready Player One, Andrew W.K.’s newest album You’re Not Alone, and Super Mario Odyssey.
This week, we ask the hard hitting question: can a cartoon be TOO sexy? If you sheepishly said “no”, you’re a sex pervert. But hey, that’s just movie magic at work. Speaking of movie magic, Hollywood made the new Jurassic Park movie less gay. Dinosaurs and gayness go together like chocolate, and… peanut butter, if I had to think of something that pairs just as well with chocolate. So, what gives?
This week, we also released “Episode 3” of our patreon-exclusive bonus podcast Fire Bros! For just $2 a month, you can find out which select pieces of media get added to the “Library of Regress”, or get burnt for the sake of public safety. Is it okay to like the “Emoji Movie”? What can be learned from “The Problem With Apu”? You’ll have to listen to find out!
And hey, leave us a review on iTunes. It really does help us get exposure. And how else will we spread “the good word” without your help? And finally: don’t forget to join in as part of the show by leaving us a voicemail at 312-788-7361.
Quick, come inside, you’re just in time for Thought Cops, “Episode 71”! This week we’re joined by Tab, also known as Madcucks. Tab is the co-host of the podcast Here’s What I Don’t Get, and is our second guest to survive the infamous Lolsuit.
This week, we get into all sorts of trouble. Daddy-daughter dances, Albert Einstein’s theory of racism, and lots of E3 drama! Has Waluigi become the new Pickle Rick? You’ll have to listen to find out! Grant, cue the “Thought Cops Gaming Corner” theme, please.
Speaking of games, it’s a bad week to be a nerd. Chris Hardwick proves once again that maybe epic bacon… isn’t so epic after all. Points! And hey, stick around after the episode for AMC’s recap show “Talking Cops”.
As always, don’t forget to leave us a 5-star review on iTunes and we’ll read it at the end of the episode. Too lazy to do even that much? Leave us a voicemail at 312-788-7361 and we’ll play it on the show. If this episode was any indication, it doesn’t need to be even remotely sober. Or coherent. Doesn’t even have to be in English if you don’t want.
Thanks again, and don’t forget to subscribe to us on Patreon for even more content and goodies. Be on the lookout for Episode 3 of our Bonus Episode, out in a few days!
Welcome to Episode 70 of thoughtcops.butts! This week, we’re joined by Jake and Ron of Big Sword Panel, who help us ring in 10,000 DOWNLOADS of Thought Cops with a freshly opened bottle of Jeppson’s Malort. Jeppson’s Malort: now when people tell you to pick your poison, you can!
We have a good amount of voicemails to go through this episode, plus we try and clear the air on the Asterios vomit audio from last episode and the mess that I created when I told him to put it on patreon.com/asterios and sell it.
This week, we talk about IHOP turning into… IHOb??? Plus the Miss America pageant cancels the swimsuit competition, much to the dismay of all the 80 year old men that get off watching it. Put it back in your pants, grandpa. Speaking of putting things in their rightful places, Google puts the egg in their salad emoji back in its rightful place: up their own asses.
We also tackle the “okay, for everyone who didn’t get the joke” responses to tweets, the “unpopular opinion” popular opinion trend of taking a popular opinion and saying that it’s unpopular in an attempt to make the world’s coldest hot take, and Bernie Sanders fights Alex Jones in the ultimate shinobi showdown at the Valley of the End. All this and more on Episode 70 of Thought Cops.
Don’t forget to leave us a five star review on iTunes, we’ve run out of them to read at the end of the episode. So get your voice heard! We’ve also submitted our show to Spotify, so hopefully in a number of weeks you’ll be able to listen to it on there.
Nobody fixes anybody’s life, and everything gets worse: welcome to Thought Cops. Episode 69, nice. The year is 2019, and this week we’re joined once again by Asterios Kokkinos. He just survived the New York court system and is back to tell us all about it. Check out his Patreon, patreon.com/asterios, to see the court transcripts of his ramshackle affair. Can anyone say COUNTERSUIT?!?!?
This episode, we talk about truck vloggers, the LeBron vs. Jordan debate, and hot takes about Jordan Peterson. We also talk at length about Roseanne’s cancellation, Samantha Bee’s insult slinging, and the Asian Hair Streak trope in movies.