Welcome to Episode 25 of Thought Cops! This week, we run out of things to talk about and end up auditorily describing different memes. I’m not kidding. Just a few weeks ago we criticized a rival podcast for being unlistenable, but it didn’t hit too long for us to hit that same point. Next episode we might start talking about our horoscopes. Load up 21 times, because I’m getting too dayumn old for this.
This week we take down all the people that are ruining America, which is everybody. But more specifically, Trent Reznor, The Emoji Movie, TJ Miller, Pokemon Go, Nintendo, and Patreon. And all this time you thought it was Communism.
Should Trent Reznor be able to voice criticism, no matter how abrasive, against the leader of the free world? No. Straight to Room 101 for reeducation. Good thing we got that out of the way. Next.
Should TJ Miller be able to say that women aren’t funny, and though we might find offense in the sentiment and disagree to varying levels, is that not his god-given right to the freedom of speech that’s protected by the 1st Amendment of the United States Constitution? NO. STRAIGHT TO ROOM 101 FOR REEDUCATION. FUCK YOU, TJ MILLER. GET AN ADULT’S FIRST NAME, STOP GOING BY “TJ.” WHAT ARE YOU, FIVE? WHAT DO YOU DO, RIDE AROUND ON A TRICYCLE, WEARING ONE OF THOSE SPINNY PROPELLER HATS, CARRYING A BIG LOLLIPOP? FIND A REAL FIRST NAME YOU FUCKING DINGUS.
Pokemon Go Fest was this previous weekend, and it turned out exactly how you would imagine the company that made Pokemon Go would handle it.
Jake Paul is also in the news for being a big douchebag. If you’re compelled to look up who that is, before you do, don’t. You’ll thank me later.
The Emoji Movie exists. So that’s something, right.
Also, Patreon cancelled someone named Lauren Southern’s account, for the crime of
threatening, or taking action that could, according to Patreon’s terms of service, “potentially cause harm or the loss of life” freedom of speech. I know that usually if you’re helping supply money to someone who’s using it in potentially dangerous and/or unlawful situations that there’s the possibility to become implicated in whatever crime it is that they’re committing, but you know, fuck it. Whatever, it’s a free country. I’ll link to a video of the CEO of Patreon trying to defend his decision, but be warned, his voice is kind of annoying. Not that ours aren’t though.
Who the fuck does this guy think he is, telling people about the decisions of a private enterprise that nobody is obligated to use. Hope he’s PREPARED TO BE FUCKED BY THE LONG DICK OF THE LAW. THIS WEEK, ON THOUGHT COPS!!!